From the month of September 2012 we are trying to conceive, do the best we can and hope for the positive result; but we are just not so lucky. So we tried again for the second time at month of October that has just ended 2 days ago. October is our TTC #2 (Trying to conceive number 2). I really thought we are going to be lucky that month. I mean something change again, which are very unusual.
First: I had symptoms of ovulation so we did the deed. After 3 days I got (No sore boobs, no bloating) These are very uncommon to me because I usually have ovulation symptoms all the way to my PMS (sore boobs just not going away not until the period arrive). So I was thinking maybe it’s our month, we got so lucky and since it disappeared maybe it meant something so I thought; “Maybe this is our month.”
I did all the sudden changes in me. I even checked my temperature regularly and it always above 37 C.
So yesterday, I attended to my class. While my teacher was discussing something to me; I suddenly felt like my belly button was being pulled to the left. (Never had that before) So I got so distracted! It lasted for like 5 minutes; then after that I felt cramping on to my left side above the pelvic bone. So everything seems so weird. I wait until the class is over and I rush to go home. When I came, I told my husband that I got something weird that day.
I never thought about checking if my monthly period arrive or not. So I changed my clothes, and made fun from the weird symptoms I got that day.
I told my husband, “Maybe I will have my period that’s why I got that weird pulling sensation. But honestly it’ll be weird because I never got those since. “
My husband replied, “Maybe, I don’t know.”
So then, I excused myself to go to toilet. I had to pee. Then I saw this pink, spots in my liner (sorry for that) . So, I got so disappointed. I told myself, “I’ve seen it last month. Though last month was brown. I had to admit, it’s my period.”
So when I came out., I told my husband that I think I got my period that day. I told him I am going to give him a 500 Czech crowns, because he won to our bet. (Yeah, middle of October we did it for fun. We bet if I will have my period or not. That is why I had to give him 500)
So after like an hour, the spots stays the same. Never had any additional spots, so meaning. Either I am clear, or whatever! I said, if it will stay like this till tomorrow, it means I got to take a pregnancy test, if it will continue or have some more spots, then it is like the previous month. Disappointment!
Well, before the night ended, it gotten even more. So I had to put a tampon on. Meaning it’s over for the second month of TTC. (sigh) While we were watching some television shows, I can’ t help myself but to think. I got sad, and even teared up. (crying) I can’t imagine that it will be that hard to get pregnant. I mean, if I am going to imagine those people I know who gotten pregnant unexpectedly; I must say. It is no unfair!
Yeah, I am a little upset. I mean, how come? We tried, and we tried, and I still am not pregnant. I tried everything.
My husband noticed, I got so sad, like I am having a depression last night. He can’t do anything but to comfort, and says, “It’s just 2nd month of trying Honey, it’s not like a year… It’s okay. I have a feeling that next month will be our month. So don’t be sad.”
Well, what else should I do? It’s just, why others can easily get pregnant unplanned. We? We planned everything, and still nothing. I’m sorry readers, it’s just I have no one to hear me out this time. Maybe at least by this page I could release it.