I’ve been off here in blog world for like a month (I guess). I miss writing, but I do not know how and where would I start? (Sigh) Anyway, obtaining driver’s license is one among others in my list for my 2013 new years resolution.
So here is the story:
My husband and I went to driving school together. At the beginning it was fun because we were learning together and we considered it activity for both of us. We learned together all about theoretical stuff at home, and we started with driving using the computer thing at the driving school. All of that was fun and exciting., but,,,
Okay, but? All were totally good, except during our actual driving on the road and traffic. During our first day for actual driving; I was expecting that we were to drive at the parking lot for the first time; but unfortunately I was 100% wrong.
Our instructor took us directly on the road. We did not drive slow (never). We drove totally like a professional driver, and not someone who were just learning for the first time. Can you imagine? I first drove outside the city at maximum speed of 80-90 km/hr. (Sigh) It was a total disaster for me. I don’t feel very good because I wanted to drive slower for the first time until I get comfortable, but the instructor doesn’t want me to do how I want it.
It was two hours of driving inside and outside the city. There was this incident where I drove to huge cross-road fast; because of course I wasn’t comfortable yet in shifting gears from 5-lower gear which would be ideal for turning safely and also for stopping in time. I was so terrified!!!
After the whole driving thing that day; we went home and I cried like whole night. I felt terrible. My mother in-law was a little bit pissed-off from the instructor when she found out that he let us drove using that speed outside the city.
The instructor says I did great specially for the first time; but that doesn’t make me feel any better. The next day, I really didn’t want to go. I was begging my husband to not ask me to go. I was extremely scared. He didn’t let me. He says that, I will never go back to driving school, once he tells me “it’s okay”. So, even if, I felt like not going, I dragged my ass and drove again for two hours.
I got better after the fifth driving lesson. Honestly,my husband and almost everyone from my in-laws asked me if I am looking forward to drive again after a few lessons. I always said “No”. Honestly, I didn’t feel any excitement but only stress and fear everyday. I stopped going to language school because I felt like totally nonfunctional. So I had to cancel all my lessons from language school in order to finish my driving lessons.
After like almost 10th driving, I got a lot better, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am still nervous every time I sit behind the wheel. I didn’t stall the car and everyone thinks that I am ready to take the final step, but??? Two lessons before the practical exam, I screwed up! The instructor took me somewhere where I never been before. It was chaotic, and lots of obstacles to focus and also the traffic signs. (I was never there, but my husband did)
All I did was wrong. Imagine how terrible I felt during that time. I was perfectly driving many times before that day, and just that day I totally ruined everything, specially when the instructor says it was “It was worst than the last time”. Yeah, right! Of course it was. I felt it, and I knew it. I supposed to ride with my husband in the driving school car, when it’s his turn to drive; but I excused myself and just went back home, because I needed to cry. (Sigh)
Of course my husband was pretty much aware of that. He knows I was sad and needed some space, so he let me go home.
The next day, it was supposed to be our pre-exam for theoretical at the driving school. I told my husband that I wouldn’t go and I did not go. My husband understands it that time. He saw the look in my eyes (my eyes were swollen actually from crying all night, that was the biggest meltdown ever). So he went to driving school all by himself.
The instructor asks my husband why I wasn’t there. Of course, he felt bad already because he knew it was the previous day’s event, that’s why I am not around.
My husband simply told our driving instructor that I wasn’t feeling very good; and that was the time the instructor felt really bad. He keeps explaining to my husband that I was doing great, etc. and previous event was pretty normal. The instructor says, he hope that I wasn’t taking it personally (my husband says I did). Well, the instructor was extremely sad, and even changed the plan that day. Instead of pre-exam, he changed it to driving. He thought that if my husband will call me and convince me to go that day, that I would show up; but I was pretty upset so I said “No”.
When my husband came home, he told me what they talked about with instructor. He says, the instructor was sorry about what happen and he was worried that I got scared of driving because of him.(Of course not. I was just upset) The instructor says, he planned to bring me that day, somewhere very easy so I’ll be happy and confident again; but like I said I didn’t show up.
The next day we did all the theoretical pre-exam in the driving school and we discussed all the details needed for the finals. We also drove, while I was still upset. I did some mistakes again, but I didn’t care anymore. How bad can it be? I had worst!
Okay, so one day before the final. I drove again (I got one extra day) it went pretty well, but I was nervous because it wasn’t smooth like it supposed to be. I didn’t feel very comfortable yet. I felt like I needed more time, but the practical was all set so it’s the next day.
I’ll tell you the story during practical soon…. 🙂